Ok, it didn’t break anything… but it made me hella sick.

So yesterday I was at Costco, we have a new one that just opened here, and they had an iJoy massage chair that I tried. OH MY GOD. It is great. My back felt 1000% better, I felt relaxed and I took the best nap I ever had after. So, to hell with the $500 price tag, I had to have it. Now this chair is like a million pounds and carrying it into my house basically broke me, needing yet another massage. So I sat down and got me like an hour long massage. Now for those of you who aren’t familiar with the iJoy… this is not your standard buzzing back massager. This thing has like hands that deeply massage your back and neck… so deep that I had to install the “massage softner” pad because it hurt.

So after my hour massage I started feeling kinda ill…. nothing I could pinpoint, but I felt like everything was a little off. I felt like my head hurt a little, my stomache was upset a little, my body ached a little… you get the point. Nothing in particular stood out (except my back which felt fine). Now I have issue with people touching me, so I don’t get massages and the only “massages” I have ever had are usually while drunk when I don’t care. So after realizing that I did a little research and came across the following statement:

“One of the things that happen in a massage is that the fluid that surrounds the muscles, called lymphatic fluid, is physically squeezed into the lymphatic ducts. Lymphatic fluid is an important part of the immune system. It begins in the arteries, where it is known as plasma. It “washes” through the muscles and other tissue, where it picks up any dead cells, viruses and bacterium, metabolic wastes (such as lactic acid, the chemical responsible for the burn felt after working out), and any other debris.”

Hawt.

So now I have like 28 years of garbage in my blood stream making me ill.

So now I feel like I have the flu … I definitely didn’t drink enough water and I slept for 12 hours. So what to do? As usual, I am going to take the aggressive approach and spend two days drinking water and massaging myself till I am clean.